UNTOLD TALES!

image

I looked at her eyes and I touched tears on my cheeks. She was lying on that bed looking so optimistic. The tone of her voice was healing, the look on her face so innocent. I had not seen such an enthusiastic child for long. I had longed to read through the lines of her story, I wanted to feel the pinch of suffering through my fingers.

Probably when you see this lady walking on the streets you could only imagine of perfection. Apparently the carcass have been polished enough to hide all the flaws. When you look straight to her eyes, you will learn that deep in those eyes are blood stains and painful times. The story of pain begins at an early age of 9. A girl born of two parents whom are not destined to have a forever together! At this tender age, she loses the one friend… a Father!
Her life was a few meters to the wall. All dreams were almost shuttered and what mattered was nothing more than living. Could it be that every single kid suffers a bruise in life? Or does it mean that some are exceptions? Well, she was left in the arms of a mother. A woman who taught her to make the right choices! The woman who sew her school sweaters and socks. I remember the criticism she received from everyone in school. She was a coward of being the abnorm. Probably, she was that kind of girl who could ulcer her own problems. From one school to another,when I count them, they are 6! I mean, she attended 6 schools before proceeding into the police cell after stealing over 50,000 Kenyan money! The experiences weren’t any sweet, The moments so sweet yet with the bittertude of bile.
Apparently no one could understand why such a young soul full of life could probably chose this kind of life. But did I mention that I had gone hungry for two days! With a sick mother at home and torn pockets! I need to unveil the survival tactics! My mother needed an inhaler! Just an inhaler! How could I have folded my hands and see another one go to a place of no return….
Being in cell didn’t make me feel a dolt of regret. I had achieved what no one else could. After my release, i joined another school. A boarding school. How could I forget my first day to a boarding to school? I had won my aunt’s black shoe that never fit my feet, I never had a cardigan…. what I wore are my old jumpers. My school dress was oversize and my shopping was the ordinary 280/= shopping. I learnt to survive demoralisation and discrimation. I grew rescillient. Through hard challenges, I chose to rewind school. This time, to mould the kind I am today… ~~`

This is the kind of story I listened to. It felt so strong and carried the weight of the exactitude of one of those of OW stories.’

Probably the world doesn’t always conspire for us. Probably the stories that are told are just fallacies. It could be that the worst nightmare is not a bad dream, its just a wrong fortune. Life could be the darest thing to hold on. It could be that thing that bruises your face and scratched the skin beneath your melanin and its just meant to. To a look of things, the younger self tends to suffer not just mistakes but the chained misfortunes of their strongholds.

Do you realise that the younger being inside you always remind you of the things you fought against? The times you gave up in life and assumed that its norm! Well, it could be that you didn’t have to fight the certain pangs of life, but…. how could you forget being the child, being the decision maker… to being the bigger person!

When they drive in and out, remember they once walked! When they wear high heels be guaranteed the once had some love for sneakers! When you look at success have in mind it’s not a thought its a verb! When you think they are smart, smile and realise they were once thrown into mad dump! When you think of imperfections, look at the edges and flaws… don’t try to fight them, be proud because your authenticity is dancing with you!

LIFE HAPPENS

NOTE TO BOAZ!

Could be the thought of being the best precedes your mind or presumably the touch of mediocrity kills you from the inside!

image

Many are the virtues I have learnt not, but the sense of you I have well mastered. Perchance I should begin by introducing myself to you. They call me Neema but I love it when you call me Swirl! I am the first born in a family of 3 and the only girl of my mother. My height is incredible, good enough to rest my head on your chest. I speak Spanish when angry and am often mesmerized by Shania twain with her vocals. Swirl is no dreamer! She is a mirror of ambition and a reflection of victory. Oh! How could I forget her beauty!? Sharp cheek bones that protrude her smile. She has African teeth and white eyes! Her lips look spurious for how well they are positioned! Probably the details you will receive on our first rendezvous!

I don’t know the size of your shoe nor the colour of your hair. I don’t know the name we will share nor the tribe you come from. This matters not for in you I will have found the one thing I needed, my rib cage! My scrupulous desire I have overdone, my imaginations I have traded with humanity, so when you come, don’t try to fix your one pack! Nor to work on your side beards! I want to meet the authentic piece of you. With you, I don’t want there be a side chick nor a girl-friend! What I need is me to run the palace all at my orders! Kiss your lips at dawn and in the late night. Do you love the stars and the moon? Or are you the kind that is fascinated by white ceilings? Probably I am an astronomy of poetry! Hoping that you will swim with me in the molecules of art!

I love music and romance, I won’t mind having a home in the land run by football and action movies! My best places will be next to you and whichever way you lead I will follow. I don’t have a best colour but I can smell that you will be made of black. Do you realise that I will trust you with myself? That you will be my intimate friend! I don’t know how deep this sinks but it’s no chance! Possibly, the walk down the aisle will add a flinch of trust! What church do you go to? Are you a christian, muslim, hindu or of what religion? Thats doesnt really matter for you will be my one and only and In our relationship there will be no tallying! There won’t be crushs’ nor crushies’. Our world will be filled with only two characters, US! As a woman I have learnt to submit. There won’t be condemnation with bible quotes henceforth!

I don’t mind the state of your past. You could be having the most intriguing narratives but hey, who doesn’t? Your heart might have been speared and the only thing left for me are broken pieces, don’t bother for I will fix each piece to its authentic position! With you, don’t carry venom, hold on and take a breath for alpha isn’t established on bleeding foundation! Despite so, scratch life beneath its skin, drink each content through your lips and let it go through your throat! Get hooked on life’s neck! Suck out all the venom for when we meet, life will be too huge to be wasted!

TO THE MOTHER OF MY WIFE

MOTHER IN LOVE
Probably you are at the slough or at the gym exercising. Maybe you are a career woman, just a house wife or one of those admired women in the society. Whatever you are, whoever you have become I know you are just the kind of woman that I needed for a mother.

image

Oh, forgive my protocol.
Hey mom? How have you been and how is dad and everyone one home? We are good here at the city.  Take off the pot from the fire or just put off the gas. Do the goats, sheep and cows have enough? Or are the horses, ducks and German shepherds calm? Don’t pick the calls nor return the texts. Sit down on your best sit. Let your eyes move freely, your lips chuckle calmly and your concentration not to be writhed.
Patience is a virtue I have learnt while waiting to meet you. To see the woman behind the success of the one who came to steal my heart. I couldn’t have said much after learning that great women are an empowerment to any relationship. Probably I can’t tell the pain you feel in letting go of the eye’s apple. With words I can hardly explain the loss of giving away a well defined daughter to another in the name of love! Well, all attributes rooted in the eyes of a woman whose principals are the key power of YES and NO can’t just be credited to birth, in them a strong flickering character must have prevailed.
I don’t know what you love, look like nor the cup you sip from. I only know the kind of waters you let go through your drain and the kind of fragrance that your body smells. I can’t tell the language you speak nor the tribe you originate from, what I know is that with you, I entrusted the life of a woman by whom my heart leaps. The day I finally meet you, I will come with a bounty of presents to award a winning soul for a job well done. With me I will bring to you a sister from whom I escaped the womb! I will carry the sweet smelling leaves from the hill and willingly the lions will be roaring from the hill tops.
On the day you hold her hand down the aisle, I will let the birds chirp and the dew melt for it will mark the beginning of a new family. My cursive lines will be held close hoping that the tears from your eyes will not wash away the beautiful make up from her face. I will watch your every step and gently I will keep each pace as specified. There will be no much joy than the one of entrusting me to the one you held at the delicate part of her life. I don’t know how hard it will get or how good it will be. What I know is that with me I will be holding a life to take care for and a promise to keep.
Maybe the witnesses will ululate, play the guitar or cymbal, probably the beginning of our chronicles will be the silence of the room or the insecurity that will be pounding in your heart, but with all the uncertainty, have in mind you have son that you never did. With respect I will honor you. With love I will call you mum, with dignity I will relate with you. And on that day, I will come knocking at your door hoping that you will accord me my rib with blessings, for from you I got the kind I never thought I needed.

The son you never had

POLITICAL SENTIMENTS

Politics; methodology and activities associated with running a government, an organization, or a movement.
Politician; One engaged in politics, especially an elected or appointed government official.

image

I have long waited patiently to understand politics but it seems to me that I have invested enough in what merely matters. Well, probably everyone is trying to give their own opinions about the current political situation in Kenya. What I am yet to understand is how first citizens run in making conclusions and how easily they are blinded by other people’s view. I believe that there are no two brains that think the same way and there is nothing as co-currency in giving opinions!
The state of my nation is at stake. The image of the Kenyan citizen is at a risk of being smeared with darkness, blood shed  and hatred. I have read hate speeches on social media! I have seen citizens criticize a given kind of tribe! I have heard our politicians through harsh words to each other yet we are the only people who get to hear this trash! How bad would it be if citizens were left to make the right choices without having to lead them in hating others? What we don’t understand is that, both our aspirants for the presidential seats have been in the government. Both at senior places. Think about that!
I try to look back and the more I flashback, the more I see the evolution of man to being a brainwashed being. Do we ever learn? Well, in 2007, blood was shed. Families were separated and lands grabbed. The tribesmen needed to be engulfed within their then called provinces! Does it make sense that the trauma of 10 years back follows us today? That people have already started relocating to their ancestral lands just to save them from the brutality of their unmatched tribesmen. Fear is painted at each corner of the country. How good does it feel to learn you aren’t free at your own land? All this done by the people whom we think they are leaders. People who we want to put on the throne to lead not the citizens but themselves and loved once into richness! Are we a climbing ladder that helps others reach to the top at our own expenses??
I have followed closely on the land issue that was trending a few days back. I don’t have an issue with what was said, I only have an issue on how wrong it was put! Who tells people not to sell their given land to a specified tribe? Who in their right minds tries to separate two people who initially didn’t have issues? Who does that? Is it that we as citizens are so weak that we can be swayed by the words that cause hatred? Probably, we are blinded by fake promises! Those that will lead us into not just suffering but into declining to extreme poverty.
Leadership isn’t measured by how many years you have been at the government, it’s not a measure of how abusive a politician can get, it’s not determined by what language you speak, leadership is a quality! We are human beings who need to be dressed with peace and unity. We are a nation that needs to be united by love and strong bonds of oneness. Let not our views nor other peoples view separate us from the kind of love we share.

LIFE @21 : WHERE IT ALL STARTS

Note to younger self, ~don’t grow up its a trick!

image

They say that age is just a number. Perhaps one could probably live without keeping count. Well, I don’t know how practical that is since I have grown in a society where we count our growth in years.
Sitted I am at the mighty Burj. I still can’t understand why I can’t see new York! Did I get facts wrong? Isn’t this the tallest building in the world? I think to myself. Well, it could be that the world is no longer a flat land on a sphericAl mapping! It could be that the air we sieve is just filled with lies, fiction, stories and majorly Dusty games! This is exactly the feeling I got at my 21. I was lost in choosing the norm or the abnorm.
I dont remember how fast things moved, but I can’t forget how well I studied them. The days were cold and the moon howled. The seasons changed and each dawn with it, surprises. As time moved, i was learning to embrace new challenges. Basically, I am this kind of a person who is mesmerized by everything that makes me smile. I hadn’t realised that a lot was just ahead of me. At my 20’s I only had two things to do; live my life and have fun with life. I had to grow to being that girl who goes to the club’s all night long and drinks her heart off! I had to learn how to put on make ups for hook up dates😂. Well, they told me once it goes black it never comes back, I was just trying to fit in.
To most people I was a new person. A totally different kind of cocktail altogether. My world was becoming smaller and every time I could just say to myself its alright. For most people who know me, they will confirm that I am the kind of person who values friendship at all levels. What people don’t know is that, I never had a friend who valued my friendship more than I always have! I didn’t want this kind of choice. I never needed this sort of life. Everyone in their simple worlds was trying to lead their own worlds with the people who suited them. At 21, what I needed was to suit myself, have a life, an opportunity to be free and to live life to the fill.
“Hey, you are the boss lady,” I would have friends tease me.
I never wanted to be this kind of ingredient. I didn’t want to have this syndrome anymore. However, each time I kept pushing, the tides hit back on me. On each page of art, I could read the emotions of betrayal, loneliness and hurtings. Probably, I am the kind of girl who never says ‘hey that’s a wrong move’ or ‘hey that was a wrong choice’ but it never harmed me more than realising that no one ever saw the tears on my eyes neither the faults nor the scars etched on my skin.
Well, the woods became my comfort zone. Where I could walk in weak and walk out strong. The sea became my shoulder to lean on. A place that gave me an opportunity to cry and never know how the tears tasted nor resembled. At the late nights, I would count the stars and just smile at each twinkle. Maybe I was just handling a low life crisis. Or probably the world was giving me a chance to live life at a glance. Maybe. With all this changes, I had crazy moments. I hadn’t realised how responsible and mature I was becoming. I had not realised the kind of influence I had ignored all along; family. How could I have forgotten about it when it’s all I got? I thought to myself. This became my knew kind of syndrome. I became obsessed with family. By the way, if anyone had to be my friend, they would need to squeeze themselves to fit in my family!.
At the comfort zone, I heard the birds chirp and the monkeys hop. I heard the leaves weather and the rains approaching. It was at the early hours of the morning. Weird times for a lady to be at the comfort of woods. Anyway, I didn’t really mind the situation for I felt the solace I could find in no man. The silent noises were conforming. The penetrating rays of the sun promising. My mind had been racing with thoughts. For the first time in eternity I felt that I really needed to talk to someone. I felt the need to shout how disturbed I was. Yes, I felt like I was crushing. Just before I could turn to fine ashes, life happened.
Approaching me was a man. Shoulders well positions with a well structured and masculine body. His eye brows were well positioned and his face glowing with a smile. His teeth white as snow and his steps well calculated. Before I could realise;

‘The night’s seemed long. The cold was so much for me to bear, I wished for the morning’s, I wished for the day to come.I love the smell of the blooming buds. I love the sound of the forest. But, what could a lady beautiful as you be doing in the woods in such hours? Doesn’t the air out here smell a little peculiar? Doesn’t she have a place to call home? Oh! Look at those eyes? Has she been tearing apart? Hey, stand up and be happy. Life could be so hard but it never stops.’

This was like the message I needed. Life could never stop. In fact it just begun. I learnt how to.smile. In love I became. Those words surely sold me away to the person I never thought I needed. To the woods I returned not. For I got the shoulder to lean on. A confidant to believe in, a soul to embrace and sink into. I got a trophy that I hold high… it was just God’s time. Then, the journey begun and I needed not to look back. For at the verge of my early age, life happened!

SEASONS

image

Walidhani ati I would be the laughing stock
Ati juu walileft wakaexpect i would walk back to them crawling with despair
Enyewe that walk from their chambers haikuwa easy
But courage was my dressing
Yaani, the pain I went through to get them out of my system
Yaani, the late night’s nililala nikiadmire love ya Sun na moon!
So nikakuwa lost in thoughts and belonging
Didn’t know that they were not my type of roll!

So niko sitted on this swinging chair
With me and myself to congratulate
How resilient I grew
How I calmed the storm’s with just a whisper
I unpainted  the engraved feelings etched at the soles of my heart
I don’t remember how it felt to get hurt
I don’t recall any of our last conversations
Mmmmh, did it really happen?

Where are the newsmakers?
Where are the story makers?
Can someone help me document my new dawn?
Would someone mind to help me sing the sweet songs to this new ride?
I need photo bloggers!
To catch each moment with the beauty and the beast!
The sons and daughters of my Father!
You saw me fall at the wee hours of the morning
Could you please join me in rekindling a new light that glows in the edges of this heart??
Yes!
Lets drink to this,
Lets sing to the new harvest
For she no longer admires the love of the moon and the Sun!

YOU SEE….

You see life is just some blind fold game…..
One that holds surprises at each stage
Holding us tight, making us think it’s the
only thing we got.
At every phase making moments
Some very fine others too sad

At one time above the ground and the next you are designed a 6′ basement mansion..

You see, If life is about moment, does the end of it have to leave us in tears??
Is it that the moments of the dark are the sweetness of life?
With much erosion of character and personality
With so much hope lost in the fading smiles,
With so much to live for yet minds brainwashed by uncertainties
Is this the kind of life we chose for our selves?
One which is bribed with technology, blue whale and success??

You see life would be a better place for all of us
A nation where power is finite
Love is priceless and joy is infinite!
A place where religion is power and a code respected by each soul
A place where paragraphs are written as they happen
A region where forever is our always and pain a word of the wicked!
Just lets make the world some smiley emoji
Where everything is just a thing to be celebrated
Where football and cricket are just a way of fun!!
A place where no one lacks and no one laze’s….

image

WE ARE ONLY CHASING OUR OWN DEMONS!

image

I am walking on the corridors of this big  institution, WORLD. Along my pathway I meet people. Beautiful people who are not just energetic but also enthusiastic about succes. I see a billboard in front of me and on it, ” LOOK PAST THE FLAWS, YOU WILL SEE BEAUTIFUL THINGS, THINGS LIKE LIFE ” are the words written in bold. With naivety I chose to enter deep in this words.
I look back at the people I met along my pathway. Those who walked past me and those I passed. The one who came towards me and the one who didn’t have a chance to reach to me. I don’t know their story but I do believe they are in pursuit of their dreams. They don’t stop, they keep going till giving up would probably be their last option. I could only imagine the dissapointments some could probably have undergone. That their optimism has to be their pessimism! Some have probably lost their most valuable possessions. They have mourned, groaned and cried under their pillows.
I looked at the ladies who actually walked towards me. They put on good dresses hiding their faults in a mask the fragrance from their sieve is not just good it is awesome. I see desperation in their eyes. They are in pursuit of love! Love they wish not to grow, but one they want to enjoy for the moment. In dire need, they do all stuffs that could probably make them reach to their Derek! Like in the movies, they want to be treated like their friends are treated by their men! They want a perfect relationship, candle lit dinners, surprise on each dawn and a good proposal! What they want is not just a fantasy but also a sort of undefined fallacy!
In between my thoughts, I remember my childhood, how I was a dreamer, how my innocence was an admiration! I remembered the people who i looked upon and I still look upon. I remember my best character on each movie I watched. How I wanted to be the person on the screen in each show. What I didn’t know is, I was a kid And I hadn’t gone to Disney world while my role character took their children there each occassion! Then one day someone said this to me;-
                  

Like every person, I have someone I look up to. When you ask me why I like her, it’s because she is successful! I mean she is the version of making it! But hey, I hadn’t realised how much I invested my time on her! I read books about her, I watched her clips on YouTube, I literally stalkec her! What I never knew was, she wasn’t sitted somewhere to stalk her emulates and made in life! She walked out of the norm, worked hard and she became the person she is. Mmmh, did I say person?? No, the woman she is. I am not a specialist on human morality but if I was Pinker, I would have invested so much on understanding sequence! This would probably explain why we have nations not growing and economy deteriorating! Maybe if we grew out with unique beliefs, ideas and personalities, we would be importing skills and not Maize! Maybe we would be rich enough to pay our own debts. We would not be having street arches! We would embrace everyone uniquely giving them no room to feel unworth. Social classes would probably not be in the English dictionary!!”

Probably this were the saving words.

I don’t know for how long I have been standing at this place but time is limiting my thoughts. Like a stone sinking to the bed of the sea, I am drown into thinking that maybe, just maybe, the world doesn’t actually need the norm maybe what the world needs is to grow through the faults.. it may never see the flaws and YOU, you may never be satisfied in chasing your little wrong demons!

…..ITS A LIE, JUST MAYBE

image

Nameless he chose would be his name
That wouldn’t define the flinch of pain and bruises he received
At the local village of Rigathi he grew
Bestowed with world’s finest personalities
To the villagers he wasn’t just a boy
NO! he was a mirror of reflection
Growing up was a man of character
Filled with umph and desire to tri
When he became of age,
He chose LOVE!
‘Maybe this thing is just a lie or a fantasy,’ he thought to himself
Before the second thought,
Eve was at his sight
Beauty and curves would define her refined collection
She was the trophy of his kind
Like a real GEM, he approached her
With the prowess of a king, he confessed his love

Like a treasure
He chose to keep the love in a proof basket
At the shore he left his well kept treasure
Where the evening tides carried it to the center of the sea
To its depth he buried it
Away from heavy tides and the pirates
His love for her was beyond mere looks
It was neither defined by the looks of her innocent eyes, the touch on her soft body, the utterance of his mouth nor the whiteness of her teeth
It was something much deeper
A glowing heart reflected on the retained banana shaped smile!

Before its midway
The trees swayed quit heavy
The tides were strong and the sea, the pirates asset
Just like a flip of the thumb,
The treasure was found and stolen
Maybe the treasure couldn’t withstand the external forces, just maybe!
Love was stolen
Could it be love was beyond his maintenance??
He looked at her as she moved out of his chambers using the same door he entered through
He saw her carried away in an expensive ride
He saw her happy!
Like used toys,
He was left,
His heart bleed,the cuts were so deep
The core of his heart destroyed beyond repair
Maybe he was in a dream, a land of fantasy
He felt one among the dead!

Nameless, he renamed his name!

LETTER TO THE FUTURE

image

DEAR FUTURE

Hey
I hope you have been doing good. I am also fine and pressing on. I am not sure whether we have met but trust me I have been told about you since I was 2. They told me that you are like clay and I would mould you to any shape. That you were planned for me long before I was born.

Well, I don’t think we have had an encounter but when we do, you won’t have a choice but to compromise for me. I don’t deny to say I kinder fear your pangs. Those that I was told would bite me with venom. Are you this crude? That you would rather see me struggle than lead me to the path of happiness? Am I just your subject?

Since I became of age nothing else has really matters. Everyone pushing me to you. The air I breath keeps reminding me that we have a fate together. Tell me future, am I moulding you to the desired shape? Is it that I am just making my hands dirty with mud to receive a surprise from you? I was told that you are waiting for me at the end of the tunnel! Where a light glows, meant to sustain my unending hope. Tell me how long I have to walk to grab this light, just give me a clue of what I expect along the way. Are there monsters or giants? Are there forces of the darkness just before the deam light?

With me I carry a number of questions. The ones that only fall on deaf ears. Uncertainty all along. Maybe you carry a basket full of surprises and interestingly I am wasting time with a defined fate! Just maybe. Could you help me untangle the knot of confusion?? Just conspire for me

Yours
Wairimu N.